Category Archives: government

no more monkey business

No more monkey business!

The era of monkeys engaging in capitalism and global free trade are now over.

Consider yourself embargoed monkeys.

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do we really want a Vice President in the White House?

I usually don’t write about politics, but I’m going to make an exception in this case: I’m glad that Joe Biden announced that he isn’t going to run for President this year. I mean, he seems like a nice enough of a guy on the surface. But I simply cannot ignore the fact that he is Vice President – literally the president in charge of wicked and immoral behaviors! Criminy, why do we even have one of those?!

Do we really want to take the person who has overseen all of our nation’s vices over the last seven years, and put him in charge of our military? Or allow him to make all the jokes at the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner? Or . . . I don’t know, whatever else Presidents do?

Not. A. Chance.

achievement unlocked!

Sorry I have once again been away for a while. I was busy executing my secret plan to overthrow the government via a strategic use of non-dairy creamers. Everything went swimmingly. Operation successful, achievement unlocked, and all that.

I’m sure that some of you may be thinking: “But the government doesn’t *look* overthrown. It seems like all the same people to me.”

To which I reply: Sure, all the politicians may seem the same on the surface. But have you looked inside their coffees?